![]() ![]() How much could we use an anti-mind control ring like Ma-Ti’s right now? The Kremlin spent over $100,000 in Facebook ads at least on their psyop meant to influence the 2016 election. Thanks to his powers only Ma-Ti - the short one with a good heart - resists the temptation that leads his teammates into destruction. In the episode “The Conqueror” all the other Planeteers grab onto magic gauntlets from a fallen Earth spirit that make them more powerful in a rather obvious Lord of the Rings homage. In many episodes while everyone else is standing around deciding whether to throw fireballs or rocks at things it’s Ma-Ti who uses his ring’s telepathy and empathy powers to actually recognize threats and formulate plans. ![]() Screengrab from Captain Planet Ma-Ti’s primary power is actually listening. Only one of the villains actually had superpowers, so it’s not like Captain Planet was really needed most of the time except to make the work of a lifetime happen within a thirty-minute cartoon. This was an adventure show, sure, but very few problems can be solved by throwing a whirlwind at them and none of them on an institutional scale. If Gaia was handing out rings today, Heart would be the first one I dove for. Now that we’re living in the age of Trump though, I realize how wrong everyone was. If you had five children pretending to be Planeteers, you’d end up with two Wheelers and no Mat-Ti and absolutely no one would question why. Swagger got you to first base with the hot Russian chick empathy got you a pet monkey. I even made fun of his action figure once because it comes with a wagon clearly designed to drag his useless corpse off of the battlefield. He was like one of those poor X-Men who is just covered in multiple eyeballs or is a literal chicken. This has universally been acknowledged as incredibly uncool. Unfortunately, the fifth and youngest Planeteer, Ma-Ti, got a ring with the ability “heart.” It was as if a Mortal Kombat game got made into an After School Special. That’s why four of the kids got awesome powers like fire and wind. Screengrab from Captain Planet But, it was still the ‘90s, which gave us Doom and the WWF Attitude era and other painfully overcompensating things.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |